I know Type Eight pretty well - I’m married to one. “They” say the Eight is the most difficult personality type on the Enneagram. My Eight would agree but I wouldn’t. Difficult is a perspective and since the Eight is one of my Arrows I have a pretty decent understanding of that type.

The Eight’s strengths include being assertive, self-determining, decisive, and visionary. When they are at their best they inspire and energize others, are courageous, big-hearted (their Two arrow), and transcend their need for control (their Five arrow). When they are behaving in an average way they become self-sufficient, no-nonsense, and risk-taking. But like all types, when spiraling down, and these behaviors become exacerbated, Eights become dominating, confrontational, and intimidating.

Their Shadow is Lust, another one of the Deadly Sins. Without getting into too many details about my lusty husband, I always tease him “You can take the boy out of Greenwich CT but you can’t take the Greenwich out of the boy.” He LOVES the best of everything. Eights have an insatiable appetite for “better than” in almost everything they have and do. This lust can also be looked at as a lust for intensity, which according to Chris Heuertz in The Sacred Enneagram, is aimed towards everything. They come across as against everything looking for combat or sparring - they are perfectly content to confront. Spend a morning at our gym and you will hear at least one story about my husband wanting to confront someone, somewhere.

The Saboteur for the Eight is the Controller. Remember those spiraling-down behaviors? Well, this is where that shows up. The Controller looks like an anxiety-based need to take care and control situations and people’s actions to one’s own will which can lead to high anxiety and impatience when that is not possible. The Controller shows up with strong energy and needs to control and take charge.  This Saboteur tends to connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.   

But there is relief. The Eight’s Wholey Idea of Truth allows them to recognize the one-ness of the Universe where they are not the only and the need to be domineering and controlling can relax. In this Truth, the Eight can still show up with their gifts (just like all of the Ennea-types) but can rest in the Truth they are not in control of the world and there is a bigger force than them. Not sure if they can believe this or not but if they can, they can live in the freedom of their strengths without feeling like they are in charge all the time. Might be the toughest challenge on the Enneagram. Stay tuned - I will let you know how that plays out for my Eight.