I go to prison every week.
I ended up in prison by happenstance. I wanted to volunteer for a non-profit, supporting women. I scrolled down the Google search to find Vermont Works for Women. When I met with VWW, Heather (whose dream it is to revamp the prison system) suggested I help incarcerated women with their Health and Wellness goals.
Admittedly, I committed without much thought. As I drove away, I remember saying to myself, “You said you wanted to help women!”
My first experience with the inmates was uncomfortable. We were gathered listening to Heather talk about goal setting. We sat side-by-side, I twisted my wedding ring, nervously, feeling sized up. Some of the women had tattoos on their faces. Others were taking copious notes. Still others chatted with their girlfriends completely disinterested yet respectful. Heather introduced me. I gave them a very brief bio. One of the ladies asked, “Why did you decide to help us?” Funny, I was sort of thinking the same thing. Trying not to pass judgment, I knew I wasn’t in Stowe anymore. I have absolutely nothing in common with these women, I thought.
I live in a beautiful safe town.
Sleep soundly to the stillness of natural surroundings.
I choose what I wear, what I eat, what I Google.
I choose where I go, where I work, when I workout or go outside.
I watch my son play soccer, help with homework and text the older four at any time.
I have these simple daily freedoms. They have none of these freedoms. All day, every day, they have fewer than a handful of choices. This is prison, not the walls and guards. A lack of freewill.
Surprisingly however, when I look into the eyes of the not-so-innocent, I don’t see criminals, unfortunates, down-trodden, or lesser-than. I see women eager to learn and be helped. I see me. I see you. I see my sister and my friends. I may be wearing Lululemon and they wear brown sweats, but I don’t feel lucky, privileged or entitled. I feel a deep sense of sameness. I see women who appreciate being supported and believed in as kindred spirits. I see women who want to improve their lives, by making better choices, making changes despite limitations. Our equalizer is being human, perfectly imperfect and as women, we must support each other, especially when we need extra help. I have to believe we have each other’s backs, no matter if we rest our heads gazing at stars or cinder-blocks. And if these women can make life changes, just imagine how you can change yours.
