Type Four’s Path to Wholeness starts with their beautiful gift of a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ). Type Fours are also sensitive, emotionally honest, and self-revealing. They are the only ones on the Enneagram who can sit with tough feelings and not discount them or avoid them. They are your go-to friend when you are feeling the heavy stuff. They can hold space for you and not try to fix it.
But on their path to Wholeness, Type Four struggles with Envy, their Shadow. Because one of their main challenges is their focus on what is missing or lacking in situations, this can get them stuck in a negative cycle in which they can’t transition to what is “good” enough in the present. Or what one client recently said, “it feels icky!” YES! Our Shadows do feel icky but they can be quite empowering as well.
While struggling with the Shadow, Four’s turn to their neural addiction (aka their Saboteur - PQ Intelligence™), being the Victim. The Victim appears as emotional and temperamental and used as a way to get attention and affection. The Victim tends to have an extreme focus on internal feelings, particularly painful ones. We all know Victims - some worse than others. But again, none of the Saboteurs are pretty, mine certainly isn’t and yours actually isn’t either. But we need them so we can begin to recognize our neural patterns. When a Four sees their Victim showing up, they can acknowledge this is a reaction to something in their lives and begin to do the work of changing their typical response to something more positive.
Finally, we arrive at the Wholey Idea - Origin. This is so beautiful…. for the Four when they understand they are already a unique manifestation of the Universe, they realize they do not have to look outside of themselves to find the one-ness - they already belong. (I told you this was beautiful.). Again, they can relax into this Truth and not feel so alone in their specialness, that nobody understands them. They can release their Victim and contribute their gifts of emotional intelligence and sensitivity, knowing they too are a part of the Universe. They belong.
Strengths and gifts offered. Shadow revealed. Saboteur acknowledges and Wholey Idea embraced. Beautiful.